On What I've Learned So Far...

Given the title of this post, I think I should start by saying that in no way do I consider myself, in my vast 25 years of life, to possess any surplus of knowledge in any aspect of life.  Nor do I consider myself in any position to be giving any sort of advice on any subject.  I am simply writing this post so that in a few years I might be able to look back and maybe have a laugh, maybe shed a few tears, but most likely I will be able to discover how completely off the mark I was in my realizations of the world around me.   

It is the growth I am looking to document.  A way to tangibly see how my family and my mind have grown.  How, despite the feelings we all have that we were, are and will always be the same person, we are in fact not.  We move, we change, we progress, we digress and we are in constant flux.  I want to see that.  I want to document that.   I want to remember the me that I was when I was in my 20s and I want my children to know who I was and where I grew from.  So the following is what I know right now.  I am not worldly, I am no scholar, but what I have learned so far has been a lesson in life, love and the Lord.

On Life:

I know- That sprinkles and food colouring are tools that every mother should have in her bag ‘o tricks!  When ensuring the proper intake of nutrients in your child’s diet, there is no better way to get that food down those yappers than a small dousing of your child’s favourite artificial colouring and a few multi-coloured sprinkles to taste.  (note- chocolate, or monotone sprinkles may work in a pinch).  I must confess, I have been known to add food colouring to yogourt, milk and apple sauce and sprinkles to toast, waffles and let’s be honest, meat and potatoes (don’t judge).  Whomever it was that invented these household comforts, it is with adoration that I salute you. 

I know- That there is a monumental difference between having fun and being happy.  I spent much of my life confused in a mixed understanding of fun versus happiness.  I often equated the moments of fun I enjoyed to mean that I was happy.  But in reality, when that momentary “high” wore off and the fun was over, I was left with nothing but the chance to look forward again to the next time I could have fun in the moment. I found that when I gave up the various safety nets of substance induced fun I had put in place, I forced myself to find a way to be truly happy with the reality of life, not just the expectation of another fun time.  I realized that what I thought was ‘giving up’ certain means for fun, was actually allowing me to gain a purity and cleanliness to my life that made enough room for me to learn how to have shameless and honourable fun.  When I started to live my life in a way that honoured the importance of the true me, I allowed joy and happiness to enter into my life.  I have recently realized that fun lingers but joy lasts, and it is joy with whom I wish to live.

I know- That the laughter of my children is the most beautiful sound in the world.  A few days ago I was in a BAD mood.  Like a downright fightin’, kickin’ and screamin’ kinda mood.  I was getting ready to make lunch for the children and the kitchen was a mess, there were toys all over the room, Noah was whining for food NOW and I really had to pee.  I was trying extremely hard to make absolutely no sound so that the angry stream of thoughts that was running through my head would not make its presence known.  I was so close to setting the finished product of a cold hotdog, goldfish crackers, grapes and a cheese string on the table when Noah completely lost his sanity.  He LOST it, like complete insanity.  He was doing this thing where he screams REALLY loud then stops.  You think just maybe he’s going to pull it together before you turn into, well him, and then he screams again.  It’s horrible.  You have to try to catch the break between screams in order to get a scolding in and if you miss it, you’re stuck for another torturous 15-20 seconds of scream.  So I was timing my objection like a little girl waiting for the exact right moment to enter into a double dutch game when he coughed… and farted.  And it was a big one.  Possibly even a few decibels louder than his scream… THAT big.  Abigail, not missing a beat, chimed in with a “you tooted”.  Then, lo and behold, this screaming monster of a child looked at me, looked at Abby, looked behind himself at his bum and said, “That was a big one” then promptly erupted in laughter.  Abby followed suit, Elias started laughing at the pure joy of having someone to laugh with and all of a sudden I no longer cared about the mess, the toys or the incessant screaming and whining.  I still had to pee, but this moment of laughter was one of the most calming, relaxing and beautiful moments I can recall to this point.  And it was all brought to us by the letter F… followed by the letters A, R, T.  Laughter is beautiful and when it comes in the form of innocent peels of joy from your children, there is no messy kitchen out there that stands a chance.

On Love:

I know-   That I never really understood how much my parents loved their children until I saw them love my children.  I grew up with amazing parents.  I was loved, cared for, nurtured and guided.  There was never a question in my home about where my parent’s loyalty belonged.  It was with each other and with us.  So when I say I never understood how much my parents loved us, I do not mean that I didn’t understand that I was loved.  I knew their love existed, but it was the extent of their love I did not understand.  It wasn’t until recently, as I have been fortunate enough to witness the relationship my children share with their grandparents (and I speak not only of my parents but of my parents-in-law as well) that I have made the undeniable connection between the love that flows from parent, to child to grandchild.  Love is wonderful that way.  It leaves no gaps.  You cannot love a child without love for the reason they exist.  It is such a divine and intricate plan.  How amazingly circular the love of family is.  I have gained so much insight into who my parents are, and why they are who they are from simply birthing three wonderful children for them to love.  What a great means by which to understand more fully the love I receive from the ones who gave me life.

I know- That love’s memory is clearer than pain’s.  I think that in each of our lives when we come to our final days there will be an overlying tone to our whole life.  One strong emotion that has taken hold of the course our life runs.  At this 25 year mark in my life one clear tone is evident to me and that tone is love.  I have had so much love given, and I have had no shortage of people with which to give of my own.  Of course, I have had trials.  I have failed horribly and have been failed at times.  Although the memory and pain of my mistakes can still sting, none has stung long enough or hard enough to overwhelm to memory of the love I have experienced.  I know it will serve me well to remember this.  To remember through any future trials, that, at the risk of sounding cliché, “this too shall pass”. That when all is said and done, love will carry me further and longer than pain ever could.  Let not the memory of pain overshadow the light love, for it is in love that we live and in pain that we perish.

I know- That striving for a marriage built on a foundation of mutual love and respect is neither outdated nor impossible.  We are bombarded with the expectation that everything we build will eventually fall.  That nothing can be made strong enough to withstand rising divorce rates, diminishing family values and impending marital failure.  The reality of these expectations hit me like a ton of bricks one day when Abigail was playing with a friend.  She was playing house and she wanted to play husband and wife and the husband and wife were going to share a room.  Her friend then told her that her mom and dad didn’t share a room because her daddy didn’t live with them.  It made me so sad to hear a small child so accustomed to a reality that I could tell truly hurt.  I know that it’s ok and normal to fail, that ‘falling out of love’ has become a real reason to stop trying but I also know that there is a higher standard that we are meant to hold ourselves to.  I have found that standard reciprocated in the love my husband has for me and each day I thank the Lord that I have been lucky enough to find a man who encourages a steady course towards a long and happy marriage.  Marriage IS important and extremely sacred and I am so thankful for the examples of marriage Mike and I have in our life.  Thank you to our parents for being a steadfast example to us.  It is upon your example that we build the foundation of our relationship.  And it is through your example that we have learned to build with bricks and mortar, to nurture and maintain with highest priority the commitments we have made to each other. 

On the Lord:

I know- That a testimony of the Lord can make you a better person, make your life better and make your family stronger.  It wasn’t until I began to search my life for meaning and contemplate my true purpose that I realized that the Bible holds in it a standard of living that makes much more sense than the worldly standard.  When I was able to humble myself to the knowledge of a higher power than me, and accept that despite my firm belief that I ultimately control the world, I may actually not be the one in supreme control, I was able to search, pray and ponder the existence of God.  I found Him quietly one night on my knees in an empty room.  He didn’t speak, He just listened.  He offered a peace that I had been unknowingly searching for and wrapped me softly into His fold.  I am nothing close to perfect, but I do honestly feel that since I have come to know and love the Lord, I am a better person.  I am a kinder and more loving wife, mother, daughter, sister and friend.  I view my family and the sanctity that holds in a fresher and clearer light and I am peacefully working towards being a little better than yesterday.

I know- That Jesus is the Christ and that the beautiful, tranquil feeling that overwhelms us at Christmas time is the Lord’s assurance to us that Jesus is the road through which we can feel that feeling all year long.  I look forward with an open heart to raising my children by the example that Jesus Christ set.  I am thankful each day that we have been given the gift of a perfect example.  I celebrate Christmas, the birth of Jesus, with the fondness and love that I feel towards my children on their respective birthdays and that is because Jesus is the Christ. 

This is the final week before Christmas, and although I have been saying it all month long, I hope you all have a wonderfully Merry Christmas!!  May you enjoy each day and find love and joy in all you do!

Love from the Willmotts

Letters to my family

I’m sorry if this blog post is a little dry… I am writing this more for a journaling purpose than for a ‘general entertainment’ purpose.  However, it never hurts to share with the world how much your family means to you.  So please enjoy, and if you get bored, just hit that ‘next blog’ button at the top of the page there… I’m sure you can find something else to peak your interest!!  Cheers!

To my oldest daughter at the end of your fifth year:

2010 has come and gone and I would like to take this time to put into words how I feel about our past year together.  You have accomplished so much in your fifth year of life.  You can spell, you can count to 100, you can read many words, you can sing us beautiful songs, you can make a game out of a toilet paper roll and a spoon, but most importantly you can love.

You are so full of pure, unconditional love and each day we spend with you it becomes more and more apparent that you have been blessed with an exceptional talent to love.  You are an example to me.  You help me to remember to treat all of God’s children with the love and kindness He expects. 

I visited your classroom two weeks ago to observe you in your ‘school environment’.  As I watched you interact with your classmates, participate in activities and work hard to write in your journal, I was immediately stricken with your level of awareness of the children around you.  You were quick to help your friends find their journals and happily pulled up a chair for a little boy who didn’t have a spot.  Your teacher expressed to me that you often concern yourself with kids who seem to be having a rough day.  You are quick to hold a hand, give a hug or invite a lonely friend to join in your game.  I love this quality about you.  I am so proud of who you are and if you are to do nothing more in this life other than simply being a good person you will have accomplished everything.

You have a self confidence that I admire and it is my wish for you that you continue this trait throughout your life.  Sometimes boys and girls say mean things to you, you tell us these things, and when we ask what you think about their hurtful words your answer is always an easy and confident “That doesn’t matter to me”.  You have the ability to let things roll off of your back without investing too much energy being sad or angry.  When people make you sad or hurt your feelings we talk about it and you often choose to say a prayer for that person.  You tell us that “Heavenly Father can help people to not be mean”.  You have already gained an understanding of the power of prayer in your life.  Your father and I will do our best to help you maintain that knowledge as it will serve you well throughout your life.

You will be told that life is hard my baby girl.  This may be true, but what is also true is that through our toughest of trials we will find our greatest of strengths.  As a girl, you will face a mountain of trials that have the potential to leave you an empty and tired shell of a woman.  Our world is teeming with quiet and subtle attacks to the core of who a woman is, but your love and your confidence is the armor you possess to protect against the hardships your life will bring.  You are crucial to the plan that our Heavenly Father has for this world.  You have a role so unique and special and it is so important you spend ample time learning who you are.  Nobody knows you better than your Father in Heaven and it is Him with whom you can turn to for any knowledge you wish to possess.

I love you Abigail Margaret Willmott and I have had such an amazing year with you.  The holiday season is made so special with you in it.  Merry Christmas to the love of my life.

With adoring love,

Mommy

To my oldest son at the end of your third year:

At the end of this year I want to share with you some of the lasting impressions you have made on my mind.  I have seen you grow so much over this past year.  In the course of one year, you have grown from a babbling toddler into a very well articulated preschooler.  You have your very own ideas and no shortage of ways to express them!

You my Noah are a challenging soul.  You are outspoken, wild and extremely expressive.  You are our middle child who makes his presence well known.  You have a determination to never get lost in the middle of our crowd and I am so thankful for this.  I am so extremely proud of everything you are, everything you do and everything you create.  You are imaginative, insightful, well spoken, crazy lovable and just so darn cute. 

This year you mastered so many milestones.  You were a late walker as a baby and when we moved to our home you still hadn’t mastered the careful art of ascending and descending stairs.  There are six stairs up in our house and 9 stairs down and by the beginning of 2010 you were a pro.  You may have fallen many times but your inborn determination to stick it to life helped you to succeed.  2010 saw you sleep in your first big boy bed, learn to dress yourself (sorta), learn to use the potty and learn to drink from a big boy cup.  You are a hard worker, and are determined to do everything and anything you see fit.  We are coming to realize that you have been blessed with the talent of strong will.  This is a characteristic that when harnessed the right way, will help you achieve greatness.  You are great, you always have been great, and I know you will always be great!

However strong willed you are, you are also in direct opposition of yourself in one very specific way.  You have a nurturing and protective sensitivity to your personality that makes you unbearably lovable to all.  Your loyalties lie with those you love and trust and you are already willing to sacrifice of yourself to protect others.  We often hear you in the school yard at Abby’s school giving heck to others with whom you perceive to be ‘messing with’ your sister.  You never hesitate to yell at someone (mostly me) to “stop making (your) sister sad”, and you are absolutely sure that if the need were to arise, you would totally be able to “hiii-yah any bad guys” who were going to get us.

I love that you own such a protective quality.  You will be a blessing to those you love as you grow into manhood if you always nurture and groom your ability to protect.  A man in our world today plays a powerful and influential role in Heavenly Father’s plan.  I hope that you will grasp this opportunity you have been granted and use it to better the lives of your family and friends.  Search the scriptures often and learn from the examples of the righteous men of old.  Pray to your Father in Heaven to magnify your inborn talents so that you can bless this world with a righteous and commanding presence.  You have been blessed to have been born into a family with a father who is working hard to lead you towards righteousness.  Love your father as he loves you and you will be unstoppable.

I love you Noah Craig Willmott and I have had such an amazing year with you.  The holiday season is made so special with you in it.  Merry Christmas to the love of my life.

With adoring love,

Mommy

To my youngest son at the end of your first year:

This is the year your life here began.  This is the year of so many firsts for you.  You entered into our family in a way that was entirely logical.  You just absolutely fit.

I know your personality already.  I know your talents and I know your strengths.  I held you in my arms as my first child born to me while in membership of the church and it was in that moment when the veil was so paper thin that Heavenly Father was able to whisper what it is that I needed to know about you.  In that instant you came into the world, I felt my connection to the Lord and I felt His hand at work in our life.  You brought me the closest I have ever been to our Heavenly Father and it is through you that I have gained much of my testimony of the work I am meant to do.

I was told when you were born, in that still small voice, of the man you will become.  I know that you are sensitive and kind.  I know that you possess the talent of leading by example.  You will be a strength to our family, a sort of staple child that binds the values and characteristics we strive for. 

You have a heartwarming smile that radiates through your eyes, immediately blessing the life of anyone fortunate enough to see.   When you were only days old, I would lie on the couch in the middle of the night with you on my chest and wrap you into my body to regulate your temperature.  It was in those moments when your body was so close again to mine, that I would feel the miracle of who you are, where you had just been, and where you are going.  From the beginning you have been a cuddler, and there is no sweeter gift a baby can give his mommy than to be so happy to be held.  You gave me more sleepless nights than your sister and brother ever did, but somehow your kind and gentle being made it an experience I looked forward to with a sense of urgency each night.  As 2am drew closer, I would crave your presence again and often woke before you did in anticipation of the stolen moments we would share.  You gave me back my nightlife in a way that was entirely superior to any teenage late night quest. 

I love you for the joy you bring to this world.  I have seen you, in your tiny infant state, change the course of a complete stranger’s day.  You have caused the grumpiest of men in line at the grocery store to erupt in thunderous laughter as you peek around my body to deliver a gentle smile.  People leave your presence happier than when they entered and I know that you have been sent here to make this world better one precious smile at a time.

I watch you try and succeed to do something new each day and I am so grateful to have been chosen to be your mother.  Every time you sit on your own, splash in your bath, eat a new food, point your chubby finger or grow another inch of hair that sticks straight up, I feel a sense of overwhelming pride flow through my body.  You are so perfect.

I love you Elias Peter Willmott and I have had such an amazing year with you.  The holiday season is made so special with you in it.  Merry Christmas to the love of my life.

With adoring love,

Mommy

To my husband at the end of another year:

You are a charismatic and remarkable force to this world.  People are drawn to you and I was lucky enough to have been introduced into your line of sight 7 years ago.  I have had an amazing journey with you through 2010. 

I have watched you grow as much as our own children this past year.  Each day you surprise me with something wonderfully new.  You are a strong and confident priesthood leader to our family and I am so blessed to be married to a man who is willing to rise against the norm and be a guiding strength among us.

You are a powerful example in three separate and specific ways: As the father to a little girl, as the father to two little boys, and as my husband.  You show Abigail the importance of a strong relationship with a man.  If it is true that a woman looks for a mate who portrays the characteristics of her father, then Abigail is so lucky.  You show Noah and Elias the importance of being a strong and righteous man.  You lead by example down a path that will encourage righteous choices and a family based life.  You show me that life can be a peaceful and harmonious balance.  You have provided a safe place for my love to rest and it is in you that I see my past, present and future.

You sealed your life and love to me on June 17^th, 2010.  You entered into a sacred responsibility to devote not only your present life, but your continuation of life beyond the grave to myself and our children.  This is the ultimate of commitments to your family and since that day I view you through eyes that well with gratitude and thanksgiving for the man you have become.

You are an amazing man Mike.  You make me laugh, you make me cry (mostly tears of joy) and you make me smile when I think about you.  You have been so many things to me over the years but at the end of 2010 I am so happy to be able to have you as my best friend.  Life may not always be as easy or as kind as we may hope it to be, but it is helpful to know that you are here with me.  You are a true love to me and my life is complete with you in it.

I love you Michael Peter Willmott and I have had such an amazing year with you.  The holiday season is made so special with you in it.  Merry Christmas to the love of my life.

With adoring love,

Your wife

Willmott Top 10 of 2010

Willmott Top Ten of 2010

As 2010 draws closer to an end through this wonderful holiday season, we often take the time to reflect back on our year’s accomplishments.  2010 was an exciting year for our family.  We all grew a little, loved a lot, and tried our hardest to find as much joy as possible!  We have put together a list of the top ten accomplishments of our year, in no specific order, so that you may too enjoy with us the memory of another wonderful year in the life of the Willmott family. 

10. Noah uses the potty- Now Noah is 3 so this may seem a logical next step in a child’s life but believe us when we say this was MONUMENTAL in the Willmott home!  Noah, after months and months of outright potty denial, surprised us two weeks shy of his 3^rd birthday and just took the leap!  It has been a long and messy journey, but we are elated to have made it.  Congratulations to Noah!!! (Don't worry, I wont post a picture)

9.  Abby moves up to SENIOR kindergarten- Abigail was so pleased with herself once she moved from small-time JK to the big leagues of SK!!  Although she had to wait a few weeks into September to actually start school (staggered starts for kindergartens) she has had such a wonderful time being one of the ‘big kids’ in the classroom.

Abby outside her kindergarten door on her first day!!!

8.  Meghan spent a full calendar year home with the children- Meghan started her maternity leave early due to a small medical need and has spent the whole of 2010 with the children.  Although we watch our children learn so much in one year, this past year of fulltime mommy-hood has probably seen the most growth in Meghan.  What an intense 14 month course it has been.  Meghan learned more about her family in the past year than she had in the past 6, and has grown such a great appreciation for each member in such uniquely specific ways.  

Meghan and her three babies!

7.  Abigail turned 5 years old- Abby waited very patiently for the majority of the year so she could turn a “whole hand” on November 19.  She had a wonderful birthday party with 3 girls and a whole-lotta-princess!  She has grown into such a well articulated young lady in the past year.  She definitely keeps us honest and let’s nothing slip by.  How blessed we are to have had 5 wonderful years with this girl!

Abby on her birthday, getting ready for her friends to arrive!!!

6.  Noah turned 3 years old- Noah had his third birthday right at the end of the summer on August 18^th!  It was a great finish to a wonderful summer.  We spent the day with our families, went to the Paris Fair (an annual rural fair right around the corner from our house) and partied hard until well past 7pm!!  Noah is our ‘spirited child’ and the past 3 years have helped us to learn limits, push and expand those limits, and completely shatter preconceived notions of our limits!  He is such an unbounded spirit and we are so blessed to have him.  We are so grateful to have had 3 glorious years with this boy!!

Noah blowing out the candles on his cake!!

5.  Mike was hired on as a full time employee and given a raise- Mike was hired from a contract position at his company, Toyota Tsusho, to a fulltime position within the Accounting Dept. where he works.  Along with being hired, he received his second raise of the year.  We are so grateful for the blessings of good employment and are so proud of Mike for the work her does!!

Mike with two of the reasons he goes to work each day <3

4.  Elias brightened our world with a smile- If you have children in your life, you already know what an amazing blessing a smile crossing the lips of a child is.  On April 28^th, just shy of 2 months old, Elias’ face erupted in the most heartwarming grin we have ever seen.  He reminds us daily to take life a little less seriously and to look for the joy in each situation.  He is such a happy and delightful baby, and he has truly added such joy to our home.

Elias' beautiful smile.  

3.  Mike successfully completed four more courses towards his CGA designation WHILE   working fulltime- Mike has been working towards his designation and has been writing papers, completing quizzes, submitting assignments and trudging through final exams all while working 45+ hours/week.  He has been an excellent example to our family of diligence and hard work and we are so thankful for the opportunity he is taking to better our family!

Mike home from work, with Abby who is never too far behind!!

2.  Elias Peter Willmott joined our family-  On March 4^th, 2010 at 12:23am, after 12 hours of labour, our laid back third child made his ‘in no hurry’ entrance into our world!  By far the longest labour of the three, Elias has proven to be as easy-going as his arrival would indicate.  He has fit so obviously into our family and life has never been better!  We are amazed daily by him and have had 9 breath-taking months of memories so far and look forward to so many more!

A beautiful Willmott boy became a part of our family!!!

1.  We were sealed as a family for time and eternity in the Toronto, Ontario Temple- We took our family to the Toronto, Ontario Temple on June 17^th, 2010 (our wedding anniversary) and were sealed together in a ceremony performed by Mike’s grandfather Joseph Willmott.  This ceremony performed by those of LDS faith, ensures the continuation of the family unit beyond the grave.  We are so thankful for our church and the promises of eternal family.  We know that our family exists because our Father in Heaven has granted us the chance to be together and we are so pleased to have the opportunity to thank Him daily for the blessings which have been poured upon us! 

Toronto, Ontario Temple where we were sealed!

As the holiday season surrounds us, we would like to take this opportunity to express our love for you.  We are grateful for family and friends and hope that 2011 brings joy and prosper to each of you.  May the Lord bless your family with never ending happiness and love.  May you smile too much, laugh too hard, sing too loud and dance too long!  We love you and wish you all a very Merry Christmas and an extremely Happy New Year.

A few final moments to remember...

Getting ready to increase the size of our family!!

Going for #3!

The family at a school fundraiser for Abby's school... yah that's a race car!!!

Abby learns to skate!!

Abby and Noah take swimming lessons!

Three is no crowd!!!

Watching your husband bond with your baby is the purest love there is.

Merry Christmas 2010!!!!!

Love from,

Mike, Meghan, Abigail, Noah and Elias Willmott